Unanswered Prayers

"Prayer is the soul's sincere desire, uttered or unexpressed..." [Prayer is the Souls sincere Desire, James Montgomery 1818]

In my life there have been a stream of wonderfully answered and wonderfully unanswered prayers. Unanswered prayers to me, in this context, are requests made of Heavenly Father that he did not, for reasons unbeknownst to me at the time, grant to me.

The latest unanswered prayer was a request I made to Heavenly Father, uttered throughout the last few months of struggling along in our business, to keep our partnership alive. One partner was with Doug and I since the beginning of last year and became a good friend to me over that last year, through some very stressful times. And the others were 4 minor partners that came on board over the last 3 months.

Without going into great detail of the people involved and the storied past, I will just say that I loved these partners. Our long time partner and very close friend decided to leave us just last week, despite my prayers and efforts otherwise. This partner wielded a lot of influence, was very charismatic and fun to work with. And when he left us, the more recent, minor partners started to waver in their commitment. They held on for another week after the first partner left but broke the news to us today that they were "out."

As the end drew near in the partnership it was very hard on me, I suppose because I was committed to these partners with all my heart, I was completely unreserved, and gave them my trust, my heart, and really my life in many ways. I also felt like their leaving was vote of non-confidence in me, in us, in the business we were/are building. It is difficult to describe, but it was a very emotional time. I agonized over their leaving.

Now it is only Doug and I and the few employees we have working for us.

As I saw the beginning of the end of all of this, I prayed that the Lord would help me salvage the partnership and help us move forward. Today as I pondered these things I came to the realization of some wonderful blessings as a result of this unanswered prayer.

The following are the blessings of these unanswered prayers:

1. The relationship between Doug and I took a major step in the right direction. With the fall-out of the partners- Doug and I pulled together. In fact, previously in the partnership, Doug and I were polarized. And I especially harbored bad feelings towards Doug. I knew at the time that the bad-will I had towards him was born of pride, but I was unwilling to let that go. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always bad. But it definitely wasn't good either. I didn't want to talk to him many times. It has been an evolution since the beginning of our time in this partnership, and it had been getting better, but over the course of the fall-out we began to pull together. The blessing to me was to re-find love for a brother, and to re-find a friend who had been buried beneath petty differences and bickering.
2. A spiritual affirmation that success is inevitable if we adhere to correct principles. I am not blaming my partners for any failings- I know the buck stops with me. But they were never as keen as Doug and I were/are to be merciful, to be honest, to be good to others. But beyond that important fact- my confidence in what we are trying to do really increased. This experience was a moment, like moments that I have had before in my life, where I let go of fear, stepped out into the darkness and then realized that I would be OK. Over the day it became clear to me that I do not need them to succeed. I realize now that they may have been slowing me down, and I should have had the confidence to move on before. There have been other moments like this in my life, and they usually mark times where great personal growth happened in my life, and where blessings came as a result. It is like in the movie "Matrix," Neo taking the red pill, and awakening to reality after doing so.
   
3. Bigger percent ownership, better savings, and better income. We had three partners requiring a hefty income from a growing business that could not afford the partners very easily. Problem solved. Now more money can go back into the business.

I love these words:
"When sore trials came upon you, Did you think to pray? When your soul was full of sorrow, balm of Gilead did you borrow-at the gates of day? Oh how praying rests the weary. Prayer will change the night to day. So when life gets dark and dreary, don't forget to pray." [Did you think to pray, Mary A Kidder, 1876]

Truly my life was changed from night to day. And truly we are all blessed for a God who hears and answers prayers according to his will and our best interests.

Jord.